I believe the way I got into kink is related to how my sexual experiences began. After my parent’s divorce, I spent the school year with my dad in Delaware and summers with my mom in California, which is where I met my first partner. She was very into exploring – “let’s do this, let’s try that.” It was really thrilling to be trying these new things and it instilled in me this excitement around sexual exploration and a desire for more knowledge of what was possible.
I didn’t date many people at my high school and I was home-schooled up until middle school. When I started going to public school I found that people seemed more concerned about what my sexuality was than who I was. It’s something I got teased about a lot. Not just my sexuality, but being kind of different in general, I’m multi-ethnic with a name no one can pronounce – people often quizzed me about “what I was.” All of that coupled with being generally shy didn’t lend itself to feeling comfortable pursuing dating my peers.
My early college years was when I started
My first real exposure to kink and the BDSM community was when I transferred schools from the east coast out to San Francisco State University. My new boss mentioned that the Folsom Street Fair was happening that weekend without telling what it was. Being new and not knowing many people, I went to check it out by myself. Once I got there I saw a huge crowd in kink attire and a leather daddy getting blown on the sidewalk in front of me. My first thought was “I love San Francisco, this is amazing!” I was really inspired because I saw all these people who were openly exploring all these different facets of their sexuality and non-sexual kink acts. It was amazing to witness because I finally felt like I had words for what I had always felt were big pieces of myself. I was a kinkster and I wanted to learn all I could about this BDSM stuff!!! While my experience at Folsom was inspiring & eye-opening, it was also super intimidating. How was I supposed to jump into that sea of hot kinky people? About a year later I decided I’d go to a kink store and ask about a good starting place. I ended up at “Madame S &
It wasn’t until a few years later while I was living in Salt Lake City that I started to step out into the community. I went to my first munch (non-sexual social meet up for kinksters) and attended my first play party shortly thereafter. It was at that party that I recognized the deep love between two partners as I observed their heavy impact scene. Witnessing the joy & intimacy in what outside eyes would call violence further solidified that I was exploring the correct path for me.
Desperate for a break of the homogeny of SLC at the time, I next made my way to Los Angeles. “Vanilla” life was for sure an improvement and the kink scene was vastly larger. Although I made some really good kinky friends in LA, I still didn’t feel super connected to the kink scene at large. I was meeting lots of people at munches and we shared an interest in kink, but not much else. Added to that there just weren’t many other brown people, or I didn’t know where to find them. I was happy that there were lots of outlets for kink, but I was having trouble meeting more than a handful of people with a similar experience or on a similar wavelength.
Fast forward to the present, I feel as though my kinky
Through my relationship with my partner and collared slut, Genevieve, I have been reminded that it’s ok to follow your own path and create the kinky universe you want to live in. Our work with Sacred Sadism is the embodiment of that in the way it shows a different aesthetic for how kink can be